More thoughts on more things.
Why is everyone always talking about a cool million dollars? Is the million dollars itself cool, or is it what you buy with the million that’s cool? Wouldn’t it be ‘a cool million receipts’ instead? I guess it’s moot anyway. I mean, let’s face it, once Bill Gates got the million, there was no way it could ever be cool again.
Scientists tell us that if you left 27 million monkeys in a room and gave them all typewriters, they would eventually write Hamlet. The internet really blew that out of the water, huh? (27 million, incedentally, is how many subscribers AOL has right now, rounded to the nearest cool million).
I believe in karma. That means I do terrible things to people all day long because they deserve it.
I have to thank Rush Limbaugh for inventing a news-oriented talk radio show. Now, everyone can call in and tell millions of other people what they think. The idea with CNN, CBS, NBC and others was find someone who knew what was happening and spread that around. Now the idea is to find someone who doesn’t know anything and spread that around.
To be fair, not all of Fox News is biased to the Right. Some of their programs are consistently informative and stimulating. I’m talking of course about Fox Weather. If you think all of Fox is biased, you’d be oh-so-wrong. Wait a minute. Last time I watched Fox weather in a diner I just wanted to know the humidity for the next day, but the lady just wouldn’t shut up about global warming.
You don’t know jack shit
That’s not true, I know him well
Haha
I’m serious
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents’ objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So there.
